Adventures in Bitchcraft

Finding myself falling naturally into the sex category, as opposed to sentiment or wonder, I am often times presented with the opportunity to draw upon the energy of many of the men who sit in my chair. As Doktor LaVey writes on page 190 of The Satanic Witch “…even the most worthless male can be employed by a witch if for no other reason than to increase her power…the psychic energy the panting suitor, creep, and pest pour out to you can be a readily available source of power. If these types have nothing else to offer, they have their enthusiasm, which equals the most unbridled form of lust.” Sometimes, albeit rarely and very much unintentional, I get the even juicier delight of drawing upon that energy combined with the energy created by the ire and resentment of the spouses or significant others of these men. Just such an encounter happened earlier this week and while she never appeared in person, the woman’s irritation gave me a wonderful feeling of power. It got me thinking…if she was so irritated that her man was coming to see me for a haircut for only the third time since he had first started coming to the salon over a year ago, then what must he be feeling or saying about me and how often?

This was brought to my attention while the man, a fairly attractive (in a bland, gap ad, kind of way), one to two o’clock kind of guy was in my chair. The pleasant grin he had on his face from the scalp massage at the shampoo sink faded for a moment after he took a look at his phone that had gone off before we got back to the chair. “Ooooh, she’s not happy I’m back already.” was his response to my question if everything was okay. It would seem that, from what he later explained, his girlfriend (a rather plain, low-wattage bulb, from the look of her) was under the impression that I was infringing on her territory and she was apparently somewhat jealous. We both laughed it off and I proceeded with the cut. Things went smoothly and the client purchased some shampoo/conditioner, leaving me a $15 tip which he insisted on handing to me directly.

Needless to say, the boost of power I received from this situation,  which I was then able to apply to my dealings with other clients throughout the day, paid dividends at the end of the shift with a combined tip total of $60!

Whatever happens between my client and his low-wattage bulb, it matters little to me as I am more concerned with the power I can gain from the situation than in gaining her approval.

“…one of the surest signs of potential proficiency in witchcraft is an inability to get along with other women. This doesn’t mean that you should not know how to get along with other members of your own sex, because a successful witch can. It simply implies that you are certain to meet with disapproval from many women when you are not purposely trying to gain their approval.” This passage at the very beginning of the chapter on Bitchcraft came to mind when thinking of this situation because this has been my life to the letter so far and especially with the above-mentioned situation at work . Getting along with my female coworkers is easy enough as being able to comfortably associate with them is crucial to a smoothly running workplace. I also have some close and valuable female friends who have become important to me in their own ways over the years, but there are times when other females who mean nothing at all to me happen to take offence or see me as some sort of a threat. You know what? I’m okay with that.

Ladies, I don’t give a damn about what you think. I’m just a witch who cuts hair so she can pay her bills and live her own damn life to the fullest. It just so happens that your man is quite fond of me making him look good. As long as he tips well I will continue to do what is within my Lesser Magic abilities to keep him coming back. That’s the extent of my interest, but he can go on imagining that it isn’t if that’s what works for what I need.

To all the witches and warlocks out there, relish in the energy that you create. If you know a person goes off and sings your praises which makes their significant other jealous, or goes home and rubs one out because you appeal to them…USE THAT POWER! Viva la bitchcraft!

As always, readers,

Stay sharp

and

HAIL SATAN!